A Theological Reflection on Manhood and Marriage from an Unmarried Christian Guy

      Let me preface this by saying that I do not yet consider myself a man, but I want to be one. Nor am I a husband or father, but I hope to be some day. What I do know is this: I've only got one chance to do this right, and I want to start preparing right now, because the ideas and attitudes we cultivate while we are single will carry over into our marriages. With that said, take as you will the thoughts and passions that have emerged from my quest for manhood as I strive to figure out what that looks like and what God says about it.

     To be a man is at its core to repent, take up our cross and follow Jesus. After all, Jesus was the perfect man. The problem is that our society has confused us so much in terms of what it means to be a man. It doesn't help that the media tends to portray men as bumbling fools, drunks, or hopelessly violent womanizers. As a result, we have a world--and a church--full of adolescents who are too scared or too selfish to grow up. I don't want to be that guy, I've seen too many families torn apart and sisters in Christ hurt by manhood gone wrong. Fortunately, in a world that is so confused, scripture paints a relatively clear picture of what manhood is meant to be. Unfortunately our culture tells us this is outdated and irrelevant. However, what our culture considers to be relevant and ideal clearly isn't working, so lets take a look at the "outdated and irrelevant" word of a holy and sovereign God, and perhaps we shall see how it is just as relevant and perhaps more urgent now than ever.

     "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:22-28). 

    The language used in this passage is covenant language, similar to what we read throughout the Hebrew Scriptures as well as the New Testament, particularly in Pauline literature. 1 Corinthians Chapter 15 gives us a glimpse of this. Paul writes, “As in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:22).

     Adam was the head of the first covenant between God and mankind, as the representative thereof, he sinned and broke the covenant with God. As such, all of humanity must now pay the penalty of sin. Humanity is now subject to death, the natural result of their disobedience (Genesis 2:17). This is both physical—physical death was not part of the original creation—and spiritual. In Ephesians Chapter 2 Paul writes, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest” (Ephesians 2:1-4).

     Similarly, Christ is the head of the New Covenant, as the representative of all humanity he lived in perfect obedience to the Father, the life we could not live, dead as we were in our sins. And he died the perfect sacrifice, being fully human and thus paying our penalty and being fully God and thus fulfilling the necessity of perfect righteousness, in doing so redeeming all creation back to himself. As Paul continues in Ephesians 2:5, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).”

     Just as Christ was held responsible for the sin of humanity as covenant head, so the man is held responsible for the well-being and spiritual health of his family. This means he is responsible for providing for the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of his wife and children. It also means that when he stands before God on the day of judgement he will be held accountable not only for his own deeds but for the holistic well-being of his family. If his children went wild and he failed to give them godly counsel and do all he could to restore them to Christ, he will be held responsible for their apostasy. If his wife is dying spiritually, not growing in community and in grace, he will be held responsible for not doing all he can to lead her into a closer walk with God.

     Men, we are given a high calling and great responsibility. If we are not ready for this, who are we to even look at a woman as a potential relationship? If we are married or in a relationship, we must ask ourselves how well we are fulfilling this calling. These are god's daughters, sacred and beloved. Not only is their Father absolutely holy, all-powerful and sovereign, but he is all knowing. Every thought, every action, every intention of our hearts is an open book to him. We would do well to be afraid! This is not something we can take lightly. 

Viewing Rob Bell Through the Lens of the Gospel

     Rob Bell, a prominent evangelical pastor and writer, has been accused of heresy and Universalism due to the trajectory of his teaching, and his latest book Love Wins. Controversy started as a response to a promotional video created for the book, and a number of interviews in which he denies the existence of Hell. Bell claims, in the end, God’s love wins everyone over, and those who don't choose Christ in life will be won over after death.
     My prayer is that instead of jumping to conclusions, people would view his work and teaching through the lens of the Bible, keeping in mind the central tenets of our faith. Namely: Jesus is the Christ, fully God and fully man, and all scripture is inspired by God and was recorded accurately through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
     Having established this, it is important to be aware that Jesus discusses Hell more than any other person in scripture. In Luke 16:19-26 Jesus tells a story about a righteous beggar who goes to heaven, and self-indulgent rich man who goes to hell. In Matthew 10:28 Jesus says not to fear man, but to fear instead the judgement of a God who can “destroy both soul and body in hell.” In Matthew 13:41-42 Jesus says “The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
    These are just a few of the many recorded instances where Jesus discusses Hell. If we accept Jesus as the Christ, and as the incarnation of the trinitarian God of the Bible, then we cannot doubt His words. Jesus says that sinners go to Hell, and in John 14:6 and several other places in the gospels he says that He is the only way to Heaven. Those who will not put there faith in Him face the “wrath of God against unrighteousness” (Romans 1:18).
     It is in this that Christianity separates its self from the rest of the world, and this belief is far from socially acceptable. But the reality that “whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life" (John 3:36) rules and shapes the Christian worldview. The Bible teaches that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Furthermore, Romans 6:23 tells us that “the wages of sin is death,” but goes on to tell us that there is hope, “the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
     In every instance, the Bible is very specific in saying that Hell is a reality, and the only way to avoid it is through a saving, persevering faith in Christ Jesus. Given this, are the claims Bell makes in his book and teaching heretical? Having not read Love Wins myself, I do not wish to contribute to that controversy. In fact, I sincerely hope that despite the publisher's description and promotional video Bell's book does have its roots in biblical truth. However, based off of the responses by pastors I love and respect, and reviews of the book, that does not seem to be the case. If his claims are what they seem to be, then he is teaching a false gospel.
     My prayer for you who are reading this, and the main purpose of this letter, is that you would not join in the condemnation of this man whose teaching has served to edify many, including myself and many in my home church. Instead I encourage you to pray for him, that he might find his way home to the Father. And, that if you choose to read Bell's book, that you would view its claims in light of Biblical truths, and in the context of the core Christian doctrines.