To be a man is at its core to repent, take up our cross and follow Jesus. After all, Jesus was the perfect man. The problem is that our society has confused us so much in terms of what it means to be a man. It doesn't help that the media tends to portray men as bumbling fools, drunks, or hopelessly violent womanizers. As a result, we have a world--and a church--full of adolescents who are too scared or too selfish to grow up. I don't want to be that guy, I've seen too many families torn apart and sisters in Christ hurt by manhood gone wrong. Fortunately, in a world that is so confused, scripture paints a relatively clear picture of what manhood is meant to be. Unfortunately our culture tells us this is outdated and irrelevant. However, what our culture considers to be relevant and ideal clearly isn't working, so lets take a look at the "outdated and irrelevant" word of a holy and sovereign God, and perhaps we shall see how it is just as relevant and perhaps more urgent now than ever.
"Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body,
and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their
husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her,
having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she
might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands
should love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:22-28).
The
language used in this passage is covenant language, similar to what we
read throughout the Hebrew Scriptures as well as the New Testament,
particularly in Pauline literature. 1 Corinthians Chapter 15 gives us
a glimpse of this. Paul writes, “As
in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive” (1
Corinthians 15:22).
Adam
was the head of the first covenant between God and mankind, as the
representative thereof, he sinned and broke the covenant with God. As
such, all of humanity must now pay the penalty of sin. Humanity is
now subject to death, the natural result of their disobedience
(Genesis 2:17). This is both physical—physical death was not part
of the original creation—and spiritual. In Ephesians Chapter 2 Paul
writes, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which
you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according
to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now
working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly
lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh
and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the
rest” (Ephesians 2:1-4).
Similarly,
Christ is the head of the New Covenant, as the representative of all
humanity he lived in perfect obedience to the Father, the life we
could not live, dead as we were in our sins. And he died the perfect
sacrifice, being fully human and thus paying our penalty and being
fully God and thus fulfilling the necessity of perfect righteousness,
in doing so redeeming all creation back to himself. As Paul continues in
Ephesians 2:5, “But
God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He
loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive
together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).”
Just
as Christ was held responsible for the sin of humanity as covenant
head, so the man is held responsible for the well-being and spiritual
health of his family. This means he is responsible for providing for
the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of his wife and children.
It also means that when he stands before God on the day of judgement
he will be held accountable not only for his own deeds but for the
holistic well-being of his family. If his children went wild and he
failed to give them godly counsel and do all he could to restore them
to Christ, he will be held responsible for their apostasy. If his
wife is dying spiritually, not growing in community and in grace, he
will be held responsible for not doing all he can to lead her into a
closer walk with God.
Men,
we are given a high calling and great responsibility. If we are not
ready for this, who are we to even look at a woman as a potential
relationship? If we are married or in a relationship, we must ask
ourselves how well we are fulfilling this calling. These are god's
daughters, sacred and beloved. Not only is their Father absolutely
holy, all-powerful and sovereign, but he is all knowing. Every
thought, every action, every intention of our hearts is an open book
to him. We would do well to be afraid! This is not something we can
take lightly.
